shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize