hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
