I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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