Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
