so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
