Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
