who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
