So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
