Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
