Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
