you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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