Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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