About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
