ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I would fuck him just for his dog
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
