This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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