it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
