lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize