Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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