true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How's work?
Spinning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
