problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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