In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
