Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need to calm my uterus...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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