happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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