I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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