we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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