____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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