It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
