he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
