So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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