bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
