Christians are straight up FREAKS
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
