bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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