it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
