theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
