I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
wow bdsm is so cute
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
