I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
