Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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