i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
