yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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