Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
