I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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