Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
