he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
