im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
