last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
