Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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