He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
