ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
