She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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