He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
