dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
