i already hear my dad disowning me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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