he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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