after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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