just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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