I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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