Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
