I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
