i may or may not be watching the land before time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
