Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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