Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
