Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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(817): View more from Texas

I really wanna talk..

(1-817): View more from Texas

if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.

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(720): View more from Colorado

There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him

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(440): View more from Ohio

You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.

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