Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
