Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
