I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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