matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
