this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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