I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had sex on a roof
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
