I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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