I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
