the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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