Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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