I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
