have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
