well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
