what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
